Dear Killian
by captainswansjourney
Summary: Emma writes to Killian after a turn of events occcur


3rd March 2013

Dear Killian,

You are an idiot. You told me not to worry, "how many times Swan, I'm a survivor" so I let you come with me. Why did I do that? You haven't woken up yet. Whale says it's not looking good, but I won't accept it. You always come back to me this isn't anything different. I'm here, I love you.

5th March 2013

Dear Killian,

You still haven't awoken and it's kind of worrying me a little. But you're a survivor I know that so I chase that worry away. They are taking you down for surgery tomorrow. Apparently the injury is worse than we thought and you have internal bleeding. But I'm taking a page out of my mother's book and I have hope. I love you.

8th March 2013

Dear Killian,

Things took a turn for the worse. The operation didn't fully work and now they don't know if you will make it. The idea of True Loves Kiss has entered all our minds and I have no doubt that we are but.. it won't work. You are not cursed, this is not magic. I can't do anything to help you accept be here and wait until you come back to me. I love you

21st March 2013

Dear Killian,

You're going to be a father! I found out today and I couldn't be more happy that we are expanding are family. Henry is ecstatic to have a little brother or sister and my parents are thrilled. But I see the look in their eyes when they think I'm not looking and I know they are waiting for me to break. I guess it's a possibility, but I know you will wake up and be there for us. I love you.

2nd April 2013

Dear Killian,

Whale called us in today, saying today might be your last and to say goodbye. I won't believe that. You're a survivor, you wouldn't lie to me. please don't leave me.

7th April 2013

Dear Killian,

You're with the angels now, if such thing exists, I hope it does because you deserve to be happy, even if it's without me. I love you

21st April 2013

Dear Killian,

It was your funeral today. The sun was shining so bright which was the complete opposite of how I was feeling. How could things be so positive and beautiful when you are no longer here? God I miss you, I just want you to come back. Please. Just come back to me. I love you.

21St May 2013

Dear Killian,

Our little pirate is starting to show. My parents and Henry are being amazing and supportive and I know they will be there for me and the baby and that's a comfort. But it's the nights that are the worst. I need to be in your arms and hear your rumbling chuckle while I rest my head on your chest. I was always so warm but now I am left in the cold.

16th July 2013

Dear Killian,

Time is moving forward, as is everyone else. That's life. But what kind of life is it without you? I find myself getting angry at you. You lied to me. You left me, just like everyone else in my life. But then I realised you didn't. I could still feel you with me whether it be when I'm at the docks locking out at the horizon or on board the Jolly Roger. I sleep there sometimes. It numbs the pain for a little while. I love you

26th November 2013

Dear Killian,

Our little pirate is finally here. Liam. He is just like his father with his eyes blue as the wide open sea and the pointed little ears I always use to tease you about, with my blonde hair. I know you will be looking over him and me. I love you

25th December 2013

Dear Killian,

It's the first Christmas without you and it hurts. Liam is growing first already a month old. My family are here as well as Regina Robin and Roland. We have a nice Christmas but there is an undercurrent of sadness, you're not here. I see David and Robin drinking rum with sombre looks in their eyes as the toast to you. I miss you Killian. I love you.

16th August 2014

Dear Killian,

Liam knows you, I always show him a picture of you every day so he knows his daddy loves him. I take him to the docks, he loves the sea (big surprise there). Henry adores him and has promised to teach him how to sail the Jolly when he's older. Henry's pretty good at it, says he has a great teacher. I watch the sunset and always hope to see a glimpse of them sails in the distance coming back to me with you aboard. It never happens, but I can feel you. I promise you Killian I will always love you, you won my heart just like you said you did, and now it is yours forever. I believe I will see you again, but until then my love, not a day will go by that I won't think of you.


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